If this were a Celebrity Travel series, Episode One may well deal with the rationale and planning for the ambitious, and possibly perilous journey that lies ahead. A camera crew would follow our intrepid stars as they potter excitedly about, whilst a plentiful production team would carry out the hard graft of extensive research, meticulous planning and wrapping up every last detail.

But first, we must meet the daring travellers, the stars of our show :

…who are always shown in their best light.

And the other star of the show is usually an unusual or exotic mode of transport; in this case:

RED!!

And a high profile celebrity adventure most definitely requires a snazzy logo:

Copyright WEM

Of course, we have no lavish media organisation behind us, so we have had to do everything ourselves. It has been a project literally years in the making. The idea and inspiration came from Libby Purves’ wonderful book “One Summer’s Grace”, in which she told the story of her family’s epic voyage around the coast of mainland Britain, with one husband and two young children in a very modest sailing boat. Willow was seized with fervour and was keen to replicate the adventure at once. I fear that I drew the line at a grand sailing expedition, so instead the equally attractive proposition of a land based circumnavigation was born in our very own eccentric and characterful charabanc. But the idea took a long time to come to fruition, what with the slings and arrows of everyday life, the occasional global pandemic and the wearying wait for Happy Retirements. But at last, here we are on the verge of turning the dream into reality.

Actually, it would make for quite a fun Episode One. Literally months of route planning, poring over maps and guide books and websites other than just Tripadvisor and lots of specialist books and even joining the Camping and Caravanning Club! More entertainingly, we visited the Camping and Caravanning Show at the NEC where we bought a smorgasbord of items: self inflating memory foam mattresses, heated chairs, a small but powerful torch, the best moisturiser cream ever, a sturdy table, a sleeping bag/duvet arrangement, some samosas and a frying pan with holes in.

Trying out a heated chair at the NEC

Thus, the Old Dining Room filled up with essential touring and camping paraphernalia. Would everything ever fit into Red?!

Gradually, an itinerary took shape…

The awesome Oztent was tested on the green. It really could be raised in 30 seconds:

And whilst all this has been going on, Red has been receiving copious care and attention. We were fortunate enough to discover a very specialist VW garage just round the corner in Stirchley. Lee cast an eye over Red (sadly not at her best owing to various leaks) and he brimmed over with cheerful enthusiasm and encouragement. He provided us with a giant dollop of positive motivation. But first of all, Red needed drying out; a difficult task given the perpetual rain in January and February. We were able to hand a dry Red over to Lee to work his magic. Red was sealed and made watertight, the Leisure Battery was renewed and rewired. A sound system was installed and a hugely expensive power pack was connected ( so that we can keep our 437 devices properly charged ). Various accoutrements were added and a full service conducted. When we gave Red a thorough deep clean, inside and out, she really was better than new, and rarin’ to go all around Britain.

All that was left was to try a “Dry Run” to test out the basic camping procedures. But that was where the problems began…